Sunday, 7 November 2010

You get what you expect from others...

In this short article I am going to talk about how those who suffer from low self esteem get what they expect from others. That is, they anticipate that someone will react to what they say or do in a certain way and guess what, they do!

This is called self-fulfilling prophecy.

This expectation causes the person to bring about their own self destruction.

After explaining exactly what is going on we'll also look at how anybody who has low self esteem can take corrective action and help improve how they communicate with others in order to boost self esteem and confidence rather than self destruct...

Generally if you suffer from low self esteem then you'll also think negatively of yourself and expect anything you say to others to be received negatively. Guess what, this is exactly what will happen. What you fear will come true. what you're doing is confirming that you are correct to think of yourself negatively. You are justifying your negative thinking and feelings of low self esteem. How you do this is by acting in a way that will make the other person act the way you expect.

Maybe you use negative body language or stutter or get confused or maybe you panic or blush. Your mind is actually working against you. all because your brain is trying to prove to you that your feelings of insecurity are correct.

You don't have to go through this forever. You can turn this around and start to build your confidence as you do so. How?

First, learn to slow down and breath evenly and relax.

Second, very important this one. No matter how you feel smile.

Third, say something positive to yourself and imagine you look confident.

These steps can help you to start to expect the opposite, a positive reaction. Look for a friendly smile from the other person and note that a question means the other person is interested in what you have to say.

Just go from there and build up the conversation. Try to talk but not too much, listen also. Nervous people often forget to listen and then get embarrassed when they forget what the other person said or they make an error.

Good luck you're a step closer to building your self esteem.

Did you find these tips about building self esteem useful? You can learn a lot more here:

Self Confidence Tips


  1. Everyday life presents us with a choice - the choice of response. As you wake up in the morning, you have a choice – the choice to live a habit or the chance to begin your day with awareness. To understand better how we should take responsibility of our habits do read the article at

  2. Thanks for this post! For years, I dealt with less-than-desirable self-esteem, which manifested in physical issues such as anxiety. I'm really grateful to read this post. I've also read Tim Pond's Three Insights, in which I initially began reading for my road to see a better me. In any case, keep up the great writing!