Why do those who Love us the most also hurt us?

"Love my life but sometimes still can't handle it when the people you love the most hurt you."

This was a great question I got this week and I'll attempt to answer it for you here.

First of all those who we are closest too know us the best and therefore they do have a lot of power over you. As you love someone your trust in them grows and anything they say or do which threatens this trust hurts.

Why do those close to you have so much power to hurt you? It's kind of obvious really if you think about it. Whatever they say really makes an impact on you because you value their thoughts and words so highly. So if two people criticized you and one was a loved one and the other a complete stranger, which comments would hurt you most?

You can feel huge pressure to live up to a loved one's expectations of you and will try that much harder to be the person you believe they want you to be. Be aware though that even with loved ones the best way to live is to be true to who and what you are and not try to be someone else, not even the person who your loved ones believe you to be. Who are you really?

If you get into this trap and feel like you have let a loved one down in some way, perhaps you feel your behaviour or what you have said has disappointed them then that hurts a lot too.

The answer to this problem is to have as honest and open a relationship as possible with any loved one and explain how you feel. If you do this you avoid trying to be something different from what you are.

Keeping secrets from loved ones is never a good idea and remember that if you are open and honest you will get that back in return.

You must always be prepared to forgive others and it is often even harder to forgive loved ones because of the extra hurt you feel. As emotions are stronger in closer relationships then the power of forgiveness needs to be stronger too and the rewards will be greater trust, love and a happier and less hurtful relationship.

Love to know what you think so leave a comment below.