You get what you expect from others...

In this short article I am going to talk about how those who suffer from low self esteem get what they expect from others. That is, they anticipate that someone will react to what they say or do in a certain way and guess what, they do!

This is called self-fulfilling prophecy.

This expectation causes the person to bring about their own self destruction.

After explaining exactly what is going on we'll also look at how anybody who has low self esteem can take corrective action and help improve how they communicate with others in order to boost self esteem and confidence rather than self destruct...

Generally if you suffer from low self esteem then you'll also think negatively of yourself and expect anything you say to others to be received negatively. Guess what, this is exactly what will happen. What you fear will come true. what you're doing is confirming that you are correct to think of yourself negatively. You are justifying your negative thinking and feelings of low self esteem. How you do this is by acting in a way that will make the other person act the way you expect.

Maybe you use negative body language or stutter or get confused or maybe you panic or blush. Your mind is actually working against you. all because your brain is trying to prove to you that your feelings of insecurity are correct.

You don't have to go through this forever. You can turn this around and start to build your confidence as you do so. How?

First, learn to slow down and breath evenly and relax.

Second, very important this one. No matter how you feel smile.

Third, say something positive to yourself and imagine you look confident.

These steps can help you to start to expect the opposite, a positive reaction. Look for a friendly smile from the other person and note that a question means the other person is interested in what you have to say.

Just go from there and build up the conversation. Try to talk but not too much, listen also. Nervous people often forget to listen and then get embarrassed when they forget what the other person said or they make an error.

Good luck you're a step closer to building your self esteem.

Did you find these tips about building self esteem useful? You can learn a lot more here:

Self Confidence Tips

Constant Motivation required...

You know this week I have realised again how easy it is to slip into old ways.

I have been working online and offering help to my visitors for years right?

I have been giving advice, tips and techniques about how important it is to believe in yourself. I have always known this to be true.

This week I have been continuing to work on a big project I have for my website and as with everything worth doing there are ups and downs. It is critical not to become negative when you experience one of those downs.

It is a hard, lonely road when you face your problems and challenges alone. I decided to get help and now have a mentor - someone to help me and motivate me to try new things and reach for success.

This week I started to rethink what I was doing and negativity got the better of me. Yes I pretended to myself that I was considering the worst case scenario but really I was just preparing myself to limit my success.

Do you believe in the law of attraction?

If you think you can do something you will. If you think you cannot then you will not. You attract the things in your life according to your thinking.

I do believe this.

So why did I start to think negatively? This won't work. My results will not be that good. This is a problem, that is a problem. Shame about this and pity about that...

I needed to get positive and my friend told me exactly what I needed to hear...

"Karl you have GOT to be more positive..."

"Get your head in the game and stop all the negativity ... think BIG and you will make BIG ... put a ceiling on yourself and you will fail rapidly!"

How true. You see, we all go backwards sometimes but I'm here to tell you today that you need to stop yourself at those times and decide to move forward again.

Self improvement is the most worthwhile thing yet it requires self motivation and constant work. When you get down, don't stay there - do something to help yourself...

We'll talk about what you can do to help yourself next time but for today one peice of advice:

Get the help of a friend or if you have a major project in mind get the help of a professional. When someone is supporting what you're doing and there to help you when you fall or stumble it can make it so much easier.

Join me on Twitter