You get what you expect from others...

In this short article I am going to talk about how those who suffer from low self esteem get what they expect from others. That is, they anticipate that someone will react to what they say or do in a certain way and guess what, they do!

This is called self-fulfilling prophecy.

This expectation causes the person to bring about their own self destruction.

After explaining exactly what is going on we'll also look at how anybody who has low self esteem can take corrective action and help improve how they communicate with others in order to boost self esteem and confidence rather than self destruct...

Generally if you suffer from low self esteem then you'll also think negatively of yourself and expect anything you say to others to be received negatively. Guess what, this is exactly what will happen. What you fear will come true. what you're doing is confirming that you are correct to think of yourself negatively. You are justifying your negative thinking and feelings of low self esteem. How you do this is by acting in a way that will make the other person act the way you expect.

Maybe you use negative body language or stutter or get confused or maybe you panic or blush. Your mind is actually working against you. all because your brain is trying to prove to you that your feelings of insecurity are correct.

You don't have to go through this forever. You can turn this around and start to build your confidence as you do so. How?

First, learn to slow down and breath evenly and relax.

Second, very important this one. No matter how you feel smile.

Third, say something positive to yourself and imagine you look confident.

These steps can help you to start to expect the opposite, a positive reaction. Look for a friendly smile from the other person and note that a question means the other person is interested in what you have to say.

Just go from there and build up the conversation. Try to talk but not too much, listen also. Nervous people often forget to listen and then get embarrassed when they forget what the other person said or they make an error.

Good luck you're a step closer to building your self esteem.

Did you find these tips about building self esteem useful? You can learn a lot more here:

Self Confidence Tips

Dealing with depression - new article

I've just written a new article called "Dealing with Depression" so if you're in need of some advice about how to get help for depression or if you're feeling very unhappy right now then go look at my new article:

Dealing with depression

Also here's a great page for you:
Check if you are depressed

Top Ten Depression Tips

I've just written a new article to help you if you feel unhappy or hopeless in your life. I have an awful lot of information on my depression helper site..

The new article gives my "top ten depression tips" - check it out today and get started on helping yourself if you suffer from depression or severe unhappiness.

take a look at the article now:

Top Ten Depression Tips

Change refreshes you as it challenges you

I've just returned from six weeks back home teaching in the UK. What an inspiring break I had!

I call it a break - well it was a working holiday, a chance to touch base. In contrast with Turkey, where I have lived for 16 years England is still where my roots are. My family keeps me in Turkey but old friends, parents and the lovely historic town of Durham brings me back each year.

I've had my dose of Englishness and reminded myself about the things that matter to me most:

Nature, the peace of feeling you belong in a place, your culture, being with people who share your outlook on the world, familiar surroundings and sounds.

Now it's back to adjusting once again to the strange culture in Turkey and all it's oddities.

So how do you benefit from a break or a change in your life? New experiences, time to re-think what you are doing in life and where you are going..new challenges and faces, new friends.

Every now and again be sure to make a change and take a break for your own sanity. It's well worth it and you deserve it.

Change produces anxiety - take a look at this page for more information about anxiety and depression

I'm lucky to be here...are you thankful to be where you are?

For the next month I am in the North of England in Durham. This is the third year I've come here to teach.

It's an inspirational place. The cathedral is a haven of peace and stillness. Time has stood still. My time here is a real break for me from stress and a chance to get back home.

The message here is simple: take some time away and seek out a connection with who you are. Try to go where you can feel your soul and feel at home. Get away from all the stresses you normally face and take some time to think.

I leave you with a couple of pictures I've taken and ask you isn't this place inspirational?

Have a great week...

Here's more about how to overcome depression easily

Have you ever wanted to communicate better and improve your relationships?

I've just read a first-rate book and it's really made me think.
It is currently one of the most popular books on communication skills...
=================================================
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
=================================================

• Develop more rewarding relationships
• Express yourself better
• Discover how to talk to anyone
• Make more friends

This book is an ESSENTIAL read for you if you find dealing with others difficult or if you would like to improve how you communicate with others.

Winners and Losers...

Well, you know what?

I'm not going to tell myself I failed, and I'm not going to tell myself I lost - because I didn't. Sure, I may have finished last, but at least I tried, and that's what matters.  Because most people in this world are too afraid to even try. I'm glad to have found the courage in myself to take part in something so big.  I'm proud, even though everything went wrong and nothing went as I wished it to go, to be able to say I was there, competing against the best - showing people the best of my ability. And I believe that no matter what the final outcome was, I have won a very meaningful victory within myself. I pushed myself to compete against the best, to do something which was so scary at first; I gave it my all, and now, I leave this place with my head up high. I am not going to weep because I couldn't go as far as I wanted to today, but instead, I'll celebrate how far I have come over the years.

We must always remember - the greatest rewards in life come from doing the things that scare us the most. It's okay to lose, to stumble and fall at first, because no one was born a winner. We become winners through our ability to get through hard times when everything seems like it's falling apart, and through the ability to say ''I'll do better next time'' and to make it happen. Quitting is never the answer, and it may sound cliché, but the people who quit are the real losers, not the people who try and finish last.

So give everything your best, and do whatever you want to - never back down because you are scared, frightened and afraid to do something. Live life, for every day is precious. Do what makes you happy, and take the opportunities that are right in front of you - don't be frightened by the prospect of failing, because no success comes without prior failures. Try your best always, and remember: the only battle which is lost is one that is never fought.

Written by Daniel Perera


If you're depressed or feeling down give yourself a lift, visit depression cure