Be nice to YOU...

While I love helping people and am ready to do so whenever someone wants my help, some people make it so difficult!

I get many requests for help with self esteem issues. I really enjoy asking difficult questions that get clients to really think about their "problem" or situation. Many problems are not even problems at all but confusions in the mind. Life coaching I believe is all about assisting and guiding the client to open their eyes and hearts to what is really happening.

When a client suddenly uncovers the reason behind a belief or behaviour their eyes are truly opened.

Yes, helping others is one of the most satisfying things in my life. It surpises me often, though, how much we neglect helping ourselves. It is not selfish to help yourself but caring. You matter as well.

I am sad how often I talk to someone who wants to break free of an old way of living to live a new life filled with happiness yet they do not see how badly they treat themselves.

My message to you today is simple...

Give yourself a break, be nice to YOU for a change.

You matter.

If you want to find out how Life Coaching can help you then please contact me and I'll arrange a time with you for a FREE consultation.

Have a great day!

Please check out my websites:

More Self Esteem
Depression Help
Karl Perera Life Coach

Why is motivation so important?

if you know what motivates you, you can change your life so you do those things and this will give you more joy. The important thing is that if you have joy you will do great things with your life and will not fail when things get difficult. If you do what makes you happy, whatever that is, it means you will work hard on it and do your best. If you do what doesn’t motivate you then this is a disaster, you will not work hard on it, your heart will not be in it and you will not succeed.

What motivates you is a key question and when you find it you can move forward. When I spoke to you and tried to help you, you seem without motivation and felt trapped. Finding motivation and strength within you will help you decide to get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and act in a way that will help you get yourself to a better place.

That better place is where you can be happier and more fulfilled, where you can help others be happier too. Where you can be what you are supposed to be - what God wants is that you are happy and doing what you are good at. Depression holds you back and that is a shame.

If you ever suffer from depression then take a look at this page about treating depression 

Perfectionism

Last week I sent out a message to my subscribers all about perfectionism. I said the following:

"Do you constantly tell yourself you could have done this better or said that better?"

"Do you spend time worrying how others will respond to you?"

"And when you have a bad day do you go over and over what happened and wish that you had done things differently?"

I got quite a few replies saying there is nothing wrong with trying to improve and of course there isn't. Improvement is progress and looking at how you can have done things better is a good idea if you want to learn from the problems and challenges of life. However, the problem of perfectionism is that you want to improve and even when you do you drive yourself harder.

Perfectionism is a problem that never goes away because you can never be perfect.

Seeking perfectionism is the road to unhappiness and you need to accept that you are not perfect. No one on this planet is. Be happy to do your best and yes learn from it. Try your best always and take setbacks as opportunities to learn and improve yourself. Don't use setbacks to kick yourself and don't be discouraged because setbacks are a natural part of self growth.

I send out inspirational messages each week. To get them sign up for my inspirational self help newsletter and get a FREE CHAPTER of my ebook "Self esteem Secrets" 

Do you lack motivation?

This week I'd like to talk about how important motivation is.

With motivation you will face challenges and won't give up easily. With motivation you won't worry so much about what others say to you or their criticisms. Without strong motivation, though, you won't have the will or the strength to follow through.


I've seen that many people imagine all kinds of things they'd like to dow ith their lives. They tell me I want to be more this or I want to do more that or they say I need to change how I do this but then what happens?

Nothing changes. Why?

Because they lack motivation.

It's like setting sail on a long voyage in a boat that has holes in it, you won't get far before you'll have to either turn around or sink.

So here's my question...

What will motivate you to make positive changes in your life?

Think about it.

What motivates you? What is important enough to you to make you determined enough to carry on even if you experience difficulties?

Motivation is the key driving force you need to face the setbacks that always come up. If you can find your motivation and reasons for doing something then success becomes a real possibility.

QUOTES - MOTIVATION
-----------------------------

Dream big and dare to fail.    Norman Vaughan

I couldn't wait for success... so I went ahead without it.      Johnathan Winters

I'd like to recommend you visit this motivating page:



Words of Inspiration and Motivation

A Formula for Success..

Today I'd like to give you a little motivation...

Let me ask you "Do you know a formula for success?"

Would you like to know THE secret of success, however you define that?

Well here it is - The Secrets to Success is:

FOCUS + ACTION + PERSISTENCE

Let's look at each of these in turn.

First, you need to focus on what you want. Really focus and that means making a clear picture in your mind, hearing and feeling whatever it is that you are aiming for. Experience in your imagination as if you have what you want.

Second, time to take action. Just thinking about it doesn't make it happen, whatever they tell you in "The Secret". You need to plan how you will take steps to move closer to your goal. Success comes from making it happen.

Third, persistence. Never give up trying. If you are not happy with how you are progressing try a different route. There are always alternative ways to achieve any goal. You always have other choices. Never give up. Success is always preceded with what some see as failure and others see as temporary setbacks. Don't let this stop you, keep moving forward.

That's it. You WILL be successful if you follow this formula.

A big problem that may be holding you back from achieving what you want in life could be low self esteem. Check out my website More Self Esteem for help building your self esteem and confidence.

Do Your Beliefs Help You?

Are you happy with your life right now?

If not, what can you do about it?

Today I'd like to ask you to examine your beliefs. Now beware...Some of these beliefs may be hidden deep within your brain so you may have to ask searching questions and think carefully to find an answer.

Many people come to me for Coaching and need help with self esteem or confidence issues. They want steps that they can follow to build self esteem or become more confident. In Life Coaching we know that the most powerful changes that we can help someone make come from questioning beliefs.

What are you beliefs?

Ask yourself "What do I believe about myself?"
"What do I believe I can do well?"
"What do I believe I don't do well?"
"How do I believe others see me?"

"What do I believe is possible in my life?"

Self esteem is so important but before you try to boost yours ask yourself:

"What do I believe I deserve?"

When you ask these kinds of questions you must be very honest. You can easily fool yourself.

When you have discovered what your main beliefs are then you need to figure out which beliefs help you and which don't.

Once you know which beliefs limit you and hold you back preventing you from being happy or achieving your goals then you can do something about it.

The next step will be to replace those limiting beliefs by ones that help you move closer to living the life you want.

I hope you have enjoyed this short post, there is more coming soon.

If you'd like one to one help from me, try a free 50 minute Life Coaching session - leave a comment below with your email or contact me

My new attempt to help you...

Finally after a lot of planning I have taken another huge step in helping others. Last week I opened my new Life Coaching program and got a great response from my subscribers.

I am enjoying the contact it gives me with those who want to improve their lives and I am now in demand!

If you are interested in my Life Coaching Program and want to try a FREE 50 minute session to see if it's for you then just let me know when you're available and we'll sort out a time, but hurry because this is a limited offer.

Contact me now

Anxiety and depression disorder treatment

Anxiety and depression is a page for you if you would like to learn more about the connection between depression and anxiety. I am working on my site about depression to provide as much information and help as possible, so if you know someone who needs help with depression or if you are suffering visit the above page and look around my site. Comments are very welcome.

Thanks to you all!

Sleep and depression

Many people ask me about sleep problems...

Do I believe in sleeping pills?

No, not really. Sleep is natural and you don:'t need to take pills even if you have problems sleeping. ıt's all about restoring the balance in your sleep system. Here is a great page I wrote about the connection between depression and sleep. I think you'll find it helpful. Comment below and tell me what you think...

Sleep and depression

How to help someone with depression...

I've written quite a lot about depression and what to do if you're suffering from the pain it causes. Today I'd like to take a slightly different slant on this and talk about what you can do to help someone who has depression.

Do you know someone who is suffering from depression?

What can you do to support them and help them?

I've put together a list of things you can try and which will work.

Check out this page now:

How to help someone with depression

A Special Milestone...

This week I reached a milestone - I published and sent out my 100th. newsletter!

The newsletter started in 2002 and is still going strong helping my readers to build their self esteem.

In between the monthly newsletters I send out a weekly inspirational message covering many self help topics which always gets a fabulous response:

"Thank you so much, Karl for all your inspiring and encouraging mails." - Grace

And this comment that makes me feel very humble:

"I am extremely touched by message on MISTAKES, the message was timely and equally encouraging. I thank Jehovah for creating people like you. You are a light, to illuminate lives."

Sign up for my newsletter now

How to Master Self Esteem...

"To master self esteem one has to know God gave you a unique identity that comes with authority.Look at every one who lives and walks confidently,they understand their uniqueness and for one i have began my great walk of confidence and self esteem.I have to let everyone know that there's no one like me.I am here,if anyone doesn't like it its their problem.
This is what you should say to yourselves to attain a strength beyond your imagination.
One last thing,walk with your head up high,it helps you adapt to the confident walk."

This came from Edwin and I publish it here because I think the comments are so true!

Be back soon with more inspiration,
Karl Perera

Author of "Self Esteem Secrets - 12 Steps to Success" now on Amazon.com:

A Great Peace of Advice...

I received this helpful advice from a reader today and thought I would share it with you. I hope it helps you...

"I can share the advice that a friend gave me and I'm trying to apply:

Always spend time with people that love you, and cut the ones that don't from your time, cause we learn to see ourselves from the eyes of the ones that are around us"

I think that's such a great peace of advice because so often we stick around with those who really hurt us rather than gravitate towards those who love us.

I wish you a wonderful weekend!

An Exciting Announcement and a Personal Ambition Realised..

I'm so excited to tell you that I have just launched my new book on Amazon.com!

It is a paperback version of my e-book which I have updated because I received so many requests for a physical version of the ebook.

You can order a copy here:

"Self esteem Secrets" - Get my Book Now 

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

Until next week,

Take care,

Karl Perera

How do you think about problems?

When you have a problem to solve or a major challenge in your life, how do you think about it?

Perhaps you have something that you need to do but inside you think that it's very difficult.

I found myself making challenges even worse by focusing on the problem and not on the solution.

Our brains look for problems to solve. There are many around but what do you do when you run into a problem or challenge you need to face?

Sometimes thinking about the problem can make it worse. How?

By focusing on the difficulties and obstacles that lie ahead. If you do this you magnify the problems in your mind and paralyze yourself. You are most likely to take action when you feel you can succeed but focusing on the obstacles and difficulties destroys action.

Are you spending your energy building up your problems until they seem like huge unbreakable walls in front of you?

I have done this to myself many times but now I am convinced that those with vision and a will to succeed are those who can look beyond the problems and difficulties and begin to break down the fear by focusing their energy on solutions.

Think of a challenge you face in your life. Maybe a change you need to make. How have you been thinking about it? Isn't it about time you began to channel your thought and energy into how to move forward and stop focusing on how difficult it all looks?

I'll be back with more very soon...

Take care,
Karl Perera

After 17 Years in Turkey...

I've been living in Turkey for 17 years and I won't pretend it's been easy. I was born in England but moved to Turkey when I was in my 30s. I often thought about returning to England but for one reason or another the fates have conspired to keep me here.

Have you ever asked yourself why your life is the way it is? I mean have you asked yourself why you are where you are? Why have things worked out that way?

When I look at things, the culture here is quite difficult for me to live with. I find it challenging in so many ways. The people here are very nice but stubbornly set in their ways and don't get me started about this being a logic-free country!

There is a point to this post that I think you'll get a lot out of...

It is that I've concluded that the reason I am here is to live through these difficulties and why...?

I am slowly finally learning how to keep calm under stress, hold in my thoughts and respect others even though they seem to act so differently from me. The best way to relate with people is not to react even when they act totally illogically. There is no point in trying to tell anyone, especially from a different culture, that they are unbelievably blind to the obvious.

Today I am sure that being here, despite the constant stress and culture clash, it has forced me to confront the intollerance within me. I am the one who is meant to progress and I can't make others do the same.

So maybe the time to leave is approaching as the lesson is being learnt. I hope this will make me a better person.

So next time you feel like screaming at someone or lecturing them why they are completely wrong, think again and laugh and let it go...

It's not impossible. I am finally letting it go, there is less frustration that way.

My new Book...on Amazon.com

My new book is nearly ready - just waiting for final approval of the updated version then soon I will put it up for sale on Amazon...

I'm very excited about this because I always wanted to be an author.

The book is the physical version, updated and edited of my e-book "Self esteem Secrets".

In my upcoming book you can discover the twelve steps to a high level of self esteem. I also outline what that will mean to you. How would more self esteem change your life?

Here's my newly designed cover for the book, love to have your opinion on the look and feel of the book cover:

just comment below...

Karl

Two kinds of people..which are you?

There are TWO kinds of people in this world. I want to ask "Which are you?"

The first type of people are successful but the second type aren't...

Let me explain what these two groups are.

People can be divided according to how they face life's troubles and problems. We're agreed that we all face constant challenges, aren't we?

So what do you do when you face a challenge or problem? Which of the following describes you, Type A or Type B?

If you are Type A then congratulations! When you face a difficult decision or problem in your life you face it head on. No fear. You think about how to overcome the problem not how the problem is going to overcome you. You know there is a solution no matter how difficult it looks. You do not panic. You don't listen to doubts or negativity within you or from anyone else.

If you are Type A you are prepared to move forward and battle until you succeed. Failure is not an option.

If you are Type B, well you need to work on becoming a Type A.

If you're Type B you avoid facing challenges and crave security and safety. Anything unfamiliar or difficult scares you. You prefer to avoid confrontation and keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself, that way no one can make fun of you. Fear is very much part of your aproach to life and it's problems.

Which type are you?

Next post I'll talk about how you can become a Type A and learn to face up to your challenges without fear.
Change is not something to fear but something to embrace.

Please leave a comment below and come back to read my next post as we'll cover some really important stuff!

Take care,
Karl Perera

Are you depressed?
Try this Test for Depression

Happy New Year

How has this year been for you? I hope it's been a year of improvement
and that you've experienced the following:

- friendship. With 6 billion people on the face of this earth all you
need is ONE close friend. It is my wish that you are lucky enough to
possess the thing more precious than gold itself - true friendship

- joy. Now everyone, including myself, faces unhappiness at times but
 I really hope you've experienced moments of joy. Treasure those moments and re-live them when things get difficult.

 - satisfaction. That you have succeeded or achieved something worthwhile. One of the best things you could achieve today is to put a smile on someone's face..:)

 - hope. I have a hope that the world will be a better place, it doesn't seem like reality but I can't give up hoping. You shouldn't either. There is always hope, no matter what others tell you. If you truly believe in something don't give up until you get it.

 - enlightenment. It could come from anywhere. Inspiration. Learning. Read and look to discover the truth in the world around you. Don't just believe everything you see and hear on the TV.

 - peace. A very valuable emotion. Inner peace is truly what we all need. I hope that sometime during the last year you experienced the stillness and quiet and felt true peace in your heart, even if just for a few moments.

 - love. Did you love someone or something this year? Did that love bring you some happiness. I really hope it did. You deserve love and keep telling yourself that. Go after what you love.

 - awe. The world is an amazing place. I truly hope that there were times that you saw or experienced something that took your breath away. The incredible beauty and power of this world and the natural
 things within it constantly remind me that my being here is more than chance and is a miracle.

 I hope this last year was filled with feelings and emotions that remind us what a wonderful thing it is to be alive. Even if there was also suffering or pain, then I pray you learn to focus on those great moments and find motivation in the good.

 My personal message to you is my sincere wish that this Christmas will bring you peace and joy that will spread into the year ahead. I hope to continue to try to inspire you each week and hope that in some
 small way I can help you build your self esteem and find the real you inside.

 Happy New Year...